Struggling [to be] a[n] artist











So I’m lost again about what I want to do in life. I’m torn between saying fuck it and just getting a service job, but at the same time, they are not the new “factory jobs” that people who lack higher ambition or talent or whatever, can have for 50 years and feed and support a family, or even their selves at this point. I won’t survive making 7.25 or w/e the minimum is at a job I can barely stand to not even cover bills. Going to college and getting a degree doesn’t really mean anything anymore, you still need to be so much more. The degree just kinda prepares you for something. There’s a lot you have to do on your own to even begin to have it be useful.

ANYWAY He said he would help me out, so first task I was given was to get a list of Careers I would like to do or look at, and what sort of medium it is, where they are, what the do, etc etc and start setting goals for it. Just a list of industries I might be interested in and doing some research.

So here is that brain dump I guess:

  • Web design – graphics or html/CSS/???
  • Marketing Design – Packaging and billboards??? Ads??????
  • Animation – Film/TV:
  • Animation – Games:
  • Environment games: maybe more level designer?? putting the levels and stuff together more or so than making the assets
  • clothing design: design and make clothes that I would want to wear, but It might be too weird for other people…
  • QA/Tech support: kind of going down this path as it is?????
  • Illustrator: hahahahahhhahahahahahha maybe If I had a clue on how to do watercolor or something it wouldnt be super far fetched but I just can’t wrap my head around it
  • pastry/baking:  I do enjoy baking stuff…

Im just really worried I don’t honestly have the gumption and drive to do these things. Like I feel like that’s what I’ve struggled so much with trying to do animation and art stuff. Why compete and try so fucking goddamn hard when you aren’t even worth a second glance (maybe to snicker at in disbelief) how awful and soul-crushing is that. I see my friends who work and try hard at things and end up failing and like ugghhhhhhh



et cetera